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The guy who just wants to have fun tries to avoid any conversations near the topic of the future in any way possible. The guy who just wants to have fun will make plans with you for this Friday. The guy who just wants to have fun will tell you that you are awesome and fun and a really cool girl.
Read full profile. He wants to have fun with no strings attached. The man you marry asks you out on dates and is clear about his intentions with you. The man you marry can hold a conversation with you about books, movies, music, and other common interests. This makes for a more substantial relationship in the long run. The boy you date will say he never wants to get married or have kids, and nothing will change his mind.
The boy you date hears your attitude, takes it personally, and starts firing it right back at you until it spirals into a major fight. The man you marry can handle your attitude and talk you down from a ledge.
This is especially important when you have major life crises or a bad day at work. The boy you date calls you mean and immature names to make himself feel like a winner. The man you marry fights fairly.
The boy you date cares too much about looks, and will tease you for looking sloppy until you fix yourself back up to his standards. The man you marry wants to hear stories about your friends until he can meet them and get to know them himself. The man you marry wants to meet your parents, and impresses them when he does.
The man you marry is never a sure thing. He nods while you talk, then changes the subject or just tells you what you want to hear. The man you marry cares about what you have to say. He wants to know your thoughts and opinions on anything from major issues to tiny moments from your day.
The boy you date never gives you security. The man you marry will make you feel secure. Peak-Performance Leadership Consultant Read full profile. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting. Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.
It starts with intentional listening and being present. There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking.
Meeting someone online is fundamentally different than meeting someone irl
Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless. Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving.
Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival.
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And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing. A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, ? But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd,this date probably holds some sort of ificance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born.
It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life. Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.
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Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!
While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.
Body language can play a ificant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand.
Effective communication isn’t always through words
And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something. These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in.
The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these als to improve your listening skills and your communication skills. Our brains were deed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.
Which messages are consistent with this theme over time?
When it comes to relationships, some things do need to be done the old-fashioned way
How should I interpret their words and body language? Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills.
It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity. Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike.
This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication. This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their s. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.
Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.
Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting. These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.
Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action. Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life.
If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills. Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash. Communication Relationships Advertising. Allison Renner Read full profile.
Listen to understand, not to speak
Share Pin it Tweet Share. More by this author Allison Renner. Read Next. Best Brain Workout! Super Learning Hacks. Take Control of Your Focus! How to Avoid Distractions.
Communication Advertising. NCBI: Body language in the brain: constructing meaning from expressive movement.